Been discussing this very emotion with my little sister this week, specifically in relation to parenting our children, and how expressing anger constructively can also teach our children that they are safe to do the same.
I came up with the idea that anger can be called passion (for something in which I believe). Is this also a fair assessment? It frames the emotion as a value of strength rather than an anger that might be one emotion to fear for its consequences.
Yeah that's a nice reframe. Passion is certainly another fiery motivator. Although I'd say passion is fuelled by desire and a pull towards something, whereas anger is fuelled by a sense of injustice and a need to put a stop to something (setting a boundary). That's me hugely over-simplifying though!
Thanks for clarifying! (You did.) so maybe passion is like an umbrella feeling that is quickly interpreted into an appropriately applied emotion which serves to map out some appropriate behavior choices to perform. So, when a person starts, incrementally, to resolve their commitment to reach an intimate act by putting an arm around you or me, that may be their “passion” (or urge?) but our passion--for self respect and self control and commitment and more--would direct us to become angry at their presumptuous behavior. We would act on this anger by becoming an effective communicator: We would take the arm and remove it and say, “No, please don’t....”
In the end, I believe anger is effective as an emotion and your point about it is so true that most could learn to harness it upon recognizing an abuse of one’s personal space (inside and on the surface!)
Do you feel anger is learned? It seems there is an association of violence with anger by some. I read the newspaper that makes me believe this. Maybe, in kindergarten, students might observe the teacher model the correct way to act on anger in a healthy, assertive way?
I have this joke when I observe errant behavior: They need to go back to kindergarten. Maybe if we all had three years of kindergarten, less folks would end up stuck in a cage in jail?
I am peppering you with all kinds of prompts Hannah because I am just grateful you responded kindly and intellectually with me.
I love this. No emotion is bad or wrong. We are in control of how we respond to & regulate our own emotions. A lot of people assume anger is a response -- but it's not! That's our own choice of how we externalize our anger.
👏👏👏👏👏 This reminds me a lot of Adam Grants writing style - extremely thought provoking. Learning something new is great, but altering the way you think is life changing. Well done!
Also very curious to learn what was on the ‘Your Anger is Your Gift’ playlist 🤣
As Lydon said 'Anger is an energy.' How you use that energy, however ...
Love this!
Been discussing this very emotion with my little sister this week, specifically in relation to parenting our children, and how expressing anger constructively can also teach our children that they are safe to do the same.
I came up with the idea that anger can be called passion (for something in which I believe). Is this also a fair assessment? It frames the emotion as a value of strength rather than an anger that might be one emotion to fear for its consequences.
Yeah that's a nice reframe. Passion is certainly another fiery motivator. Although I'd say passion is fuelled by desire and a pull towards something, whereas anger is fuelled by a sense of injustice and a need to put a stop to something (setting a boundary). That's me hugely over-simplifying though!
Thanks for clarifying! (You did.) so maybe passion is like an umbrella feeling that is quickly interpreted into an appropriately applied emotion which serves to map out some appropriate behavior choices to perform. So, when a person starts, incrementally, to resolve their commitment to reach an intimate act by putting an arm around you or me, that may be their “passion” (or urge?) but our passion--for self respect and self control and commitment and more--would direct us to become angry at their presumptuous behavior. We would act on this anger by becoming an effective communicator: We would take the arm and remove it and say, “No, please don’t....”
In the end, I believe anger is effective as an emotion and your point about it is so true that most could learn to harness it upon recognizing an abuse of one’s personal space (inside and on the surface!)
Do you feel anger is learned? It seems there is an association of violence with anger by some. I read the newspaper that makes me believe this. Maybe, in kindergarten, students might observe the teacher model the correct way to act on anger in a healthy, assertive way?
I have this joke when I observe errant behavior: They need to go back to kindergarten. Maybe if we all had three years of kindergarten, less folks would end up stuck in a cage in jail?
I am peppering you with all kinds of prompts Hannah because I am just grateful you responded kindly and intellectually with me.
I love this. No emotion is bad or wrong. We are in control of how we respond to & regulate our own emotions. A lot of people assume anger is a response -- but it's not! That's our own choice of how we externalize our anger.
Totally. It's trying to stop the emotions or pretend they aren't there that causes the issues.
👏👏👏👏👏 This reminds me a lot of Adam Grants writing style - extremely thought provoking. Learning something new is great, but altering the way you think is life changing. Well done!
Also very curious to learn what was on the ‘Your Anger is Your Gift’ playlist 🤣
Well that’s a huge compliment, thank you! Really glad you enjoyed it.
Maybe I should share the playlist - help any angry feelings to surface 😉
Thanks Leila! Yeah, there’s so much more to dive into when it comes to parenting! Thanks for reading 🙌