Anxiety is a hefty old topic and although I have written about this previously, I’m aware that it is nuanced in the form and severity that it can take. So bear with me while I cover the basics.
Despite what the social wallpaper of cultural memes might suggest, anxiety is not a millennial issue. It is something we all experience and is the manifestation of heightened fear responses designed to keep us safe from danger. Yeah, I know, it’s that sabre-tooth tiger analogy being rolled out again. What a legend that cat became, his fame only realised in death, like Vincent Van Gogh.
I digress.
Anxiety is our body responding to uncertainty to determine whether we need to run for the hills or draw out our sword. It’s fascinating and clever and, in this day and age, a complete pain in the arse.
Anxiety feels incredibly distressing and I am in no way trivialising how overwhelming it can be in its consumption. What differentiates it from the outright fear of being faced with a tiger painting a starry night is that we are cognisant of the chasm between reality and what our heartbeat is reading. We sort of know that we are overreacting, but we blame that on ourselves rather than understanding that our primal software is just in need of a major update.
Anxiety is a very natural part of the human psyche, innate in all of us from birth.
So let’s break it down. Anxiety is crippling but very understandable given our genetic heritage. Remembering that part is key, as the common response of self-doubt or criticism is wholly unhelpful. We often chastise ourselves for having very natural feelings. In fact, our response is as physiological as it is psychological. It’s not a sign of weakness. On the contrary; your body is healthily responding to its job - to protect you. It’s that gorgeous massive bouncer of a nightclub that’s got a bit power hungry and has completely the wrong end of the stick. He thinks he’s saving you but actually he’s just punched the lights out of what could have been a deliciously great shag (not that I’m drawing on personal experience). It’s essentially miscommunication between body and mind.
It sounds simpler than it is. That’s the thing with overwhelming emotions, at the time it’s very hard to disseminate the reality of the situation. It’s not like we can get an update on our bodily responses. And nor should we. Disputing the majesty of what we’ve been given would be like repainting the Sistine Chapel with the work of Bart Simpson. But as with all great art, we do need to understand what it represents.
Byron Katie’s The Work is amazingly effective here and something I consistently recommend to everyone. It centres around connecting with our deeper fears and asking that important question; “Is It True?”.
“Fear is the same emotion as excitement”
I loved hearing Anya Hindmarch speak on The Shift podcast about how feelings of fear, experienced as anxiety, have the same emotional physicality as excitement. It’s an interesting re-framing. I remember hearing Sam Harris talking about the sensations we feel in the gym; heart-racing, short of breath, adrenaline coursing through us. We think nothing of it, because we understand it. But it’s the same physical expression when in fight or flight mode due to a primal instinct of fear being triggered. Also known as the panic attack.
As I said, this by no means touches on the complexity of this matter. But I felt important to touch on it, incase helpful to anyone feeling overwhelm right now (tell me it’s not just me?)
The Breakthrough (The Good Bit)
Anxiety does not belong to a certain generation or type of person. It is something we all experience and manage in different ways.
Anxiety shares its physicality with excitement, falling in love, and going for a run. Would it be helpful to reframe?
Stay with the feelings and work with them. Understand what they are really about and what message they have for you.
Do not berate yourself. That’s not helping anything. Your body’s doing you an incredible service - it’s just often got the wrong end of the stick!
Adding More Weight
A fantastically clear explanation of how Anxiety is In Your Body, Not Your Mind
A helpful reminder about how we over-think, and what we can do about it.
More on how to reframe our anxiety as feelings of excitement.
How post-pandemic anxiety is definitely a thing.
And if you ever think it’s just you, here are what some celebrities are experiencing over in the star-lit kingdom.
If you didn’t check out the link above, I’m pushing this one again because it’s just SO important - Byron Katie’s The Work - do it!!!
Option to Go Deeper
Imagine you lived in the time of early cave people. What do you think you would have been like back then? How do you think you might have developed? What would be your qualities in the tribe?
It can be interesting to imagine ourselves in a different time. You would still be you, but your environment, responsibilities and daily routines would no longer exist. Who would you be?
The Wind Down
Feel Good on Netflix is a tonic. Highly-relatable for the over-thinkers. It’s funny, smart and tackles important issues such as addiction, gender issues, and sexual identity in a way that packs a punch whilst simultaneously being laugh-out-loud hilarious.
And if you like that, definitely check out Mae Martin’s interview on Jameela Jamil’s I Weigh podcast.
If you haven’t yet gone down a bingeing wormhole with This Is Us (where have you been?) I can highly recommend. Everything about this show makes me want to hate it (from its earnest over-reaching for absolute political correctness to its Bambi-eyed cast members who feel somehow simultaneously relatable and laughably fictitious) and yet I could not pull away!
Also, I’ve loved zoning out to this sexy track by Santino Le Saint which is all about his own battle with anxiety and depression.