Are You Trapped?
Or is the cage door open?
Some creatures live a life of captivity. Created wild, yet born into domesticity. How would they know what it is their soul seeks? An ancestral cry cuts through the air at London Zoo, unheard by the tribe they unknowingly scream for. A longing and loss that cannot be pinpointed.
Some prisoners get sent away for years. Separated from their community. When it comes to release, many soon break probation to return to the cells. No longer trusting themselves in the outside world.
I’ve read accounts of soldiers in World War 1 who, whilst reeling in agony from their hospital beds, their limbs blown from their body, begged to be back at the front line. Their freedom, humanity and soul ripped from them, they clung to ‘soldier’ like a lifeline.
The more people I work with, the more I realise how many of us are imprisoned. Held captive by our own minds, staring at the cell walls of past pain, rejection and trauma. When we first go to therapy it can be terrifying - the realisation that the door is open. We have the freedom to walk through it, yet we fear what might be on the other side. Better to stay in our familiar cell than risk the unknown. When polluted lungs have never known clean air, they never imagine it could be easier to breathe.
I spent so many years imprisoned. Bouncing tennis balls at my mental cell walls, numbed by the repetition of the familiar. When I look back on those years they seem almost trance-like. Was I even living? Torment had become part of me, so I never considered there could be a life without it.
And yet.
Something deep within my soul was whining. Clawing at the walls of its cage. An inner knowing that something needed to change. I needed to wake up. To find the door and walk through it.
We each have our own trials. But we also have more freedom than we recognise. There is a choice in how we see things. A choice in what we tell ourselves is possible. A choice in what we choose to inherit from the world around us, and what we choose to listen to within ourselves.
We are not the captives of London Zoo, only the zoo that we create for ourselves. When our soul aches to find our missing tribe, we can leave in search of what we lost.
Doing the work to become more aware of ourselves means waking up to the choices we have. The freedom of knowing. Acknowledging that the door is, actually, open.
Walking through it isn’t required of us - but it is a choice we can make.
“Few, if any, survive their teens. Most surrender to the vague but murderous pressure of adult conformity. It becomes easier to die and avoid conflict than to maintain a constant battle with the superior forces of maturity.”― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Reflection
In what ways might you be holding yourself back?
What would you do if you had more freedom?
